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31 December 2007

Mr. T Style New Year Resolution

It is that time of the year, for quite a few of us, to start taking action on the New Year Resolutions (NYS) that we've made. Here is how Mr. T helped us create our NYS - but first lets answer the question; Well, why Mr. T? Some say that he invented the I.Q. testing system so he could more accurately pity fools. Some say he beat Chuck Norris in a game of tic-tac-toe and Chuck invented racism. All we know is Mr.T puts the "T" in T.V., was a popular celeb back in the day and a hit with the kids. Find a celebrity now who tries to be a positive role model, let alone a video for kids where the main focus is self esteem and hard work.

1. Quit yo Jibber-jabber! You ain't hurt, yo pathetic!, Argh! If I ever catch you out like a crazy fool again, you're gonna meet my friend pain!

2. Know your roots: See this tree here? It's tall, big, beautiful and it is strong! But it wouldn't be here if it didn't have any roots.. and you wouldn't be here either, if you didn't have any roots. You see roots nourish us.. and help us to become what we hope to be!

3. Acknowledge that you a fool: If you are "sitting around crying 'what's wrong with me Dr. Phil what's wrong with me' then YOU A FOOL that's what's wrong with you!

4. Be somebody: Or be somebody's fool. You gotta be a leader, a high achiever! So if you want to be cool, just like me - You better try real hard to be some-bo-dy!

5. Recouping: One out of one Dr. T's recommend it!

6. Treat your mother right: Mother! There is no other! Like mother! So treat her right!

M is for the moan and the miserable groan
From the pain that she felt when I was bo'n!

O is for the oven with its burnin' heat,
Where she stood makin' sure I had somethin' to eat!

T is for the time that she stayed up nights,
And took my temperature when I wasn't feeling right!

H is for the hard-earned money she spent,
To keep clothes on my back and tried to pay da rent!

E is every wrinkle I put on her face,
And every worry that I caused when I stayed out late!

The last letter, R, is that she taught me respect,
And for the room up in heaven that I know she'll get!

7. Treat your friends right: Where I come from, a true friend is someone that when you get bit by a snake in the big toe [!!], they'll be there to suck the poison out! I mean, that's a real, true friend! Sometimes a true friend is hard to find.

8. Learn computers: Maybe Mr.T hacked the game and created a mohawk class! Maybe Mr. T is pretty handy with computers!

9. Be the "I" in I.T.: Hey, sucka! Be there! Don't make me mad, Arrr!

10. Stop saying "I Pity the Fool": It used to be fun in the 80's, not anymore.

Happy 2008! Do you have a New Year’s resolution?

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